When i met George* more than two decades ago, I remember chuckling over the name of his first business.

He still had company checks, and I came across a box of them one day while we were packing to move out of our apartment.

They said: “Sessum Cleaning and Productions.”

He was 18 when he officially started his own business, and he decided to name the business after what he did: commercial floor cleaning and music production. Completely unrelated businesses, apples to oranges, a marketing faux pas in my eyes. And, boldly monogrammed on yellow checkered business checks, also kind of funny.

He said, “It made sense at the time - It’s what I did. Plus, it saved the cost of registering more than one business name.”

In those days I wrote about technology. All of my marketing training and big company expertise made me right, of course. I told him, you don’t dilute your brand. Focus. How can you know who you compete against if your business is cleaning and production? You’re playing in two different markets; you have no unique selling proposition; how can you differentiate across those markets - it’s a losing proposition, I told him.

I was so smart. girl genius.

Except, he was ahead of his time.

His time is actually now.

With business as usual officially on life support, we as workers will all assume new roles, like it or not, before the plug is pulled. I can be glad that I’m ahead of the curve. The dot-com bust cut my industry** down substantially 8 years ago. I’ve had my own business ever since.

During the last year, I find myself differentiating my offerings even further. I sell vitamins. I write copy. I’m a business strategist. I do marketing and PR. I’m a publisher. If you give me a microphone, I might even do comedy. I’m just sayin’.

I’m starting to be asked to do even smaller time-limited tasks for some, micro tasks, which in turn bring in micro dollars, but dollars nonetheless. Once the dollar is no more, I’ll be trading words for chickens, and I’m okay with that. I’m cleaning and productions. I’m PR person and journalist. I’m vitamins and content.

Micro jobs for micro money*** — the age of the micro-focused is here. One job won’t do it, and one job is hard to find. Many tasks spread over geographies and markets will supplant the old “real job.” Many small business activities under one small business umbrella, or personal brand, will trump the job title (at) real company (dot) com.

Tools that will make this happen:

Google - gmail, collaborative google docs, g-chat and video chat.

LinkedIn**** - it’s there, we’re already using it, referrals based on multiple types of skill sets (related and unrelated to my current business) are coming in.

RevolutionMoney*+* - I’ve been calling for a micro-payment service to take the lead in allowing us to compensate one another for small tasks we can farm out to those we respect and know across our various online social homes. With Revolution Money, the service provider won’t take a hit when they receive a payment for a task as they do with paypal.

Skype*#* and Twitter*#* - “Hey, do you do x?” “HELL yeah!” (or) “No but let me find you someone who does.” Do I become my brother’s reseller? Am I my friends’ affiliate? The details remain to be seen, but I think IM and DM (through the likes of twitter.com) will take the place of ‘over the cube wall’ inquiries.

Companies like Cerego*^, with the iKnow social learning platform, and the open source education movement, where the world’s best universities offer free access to course and lectures, also have much to offer the coming upside-down business environment by helping solo practitioners stay ahead of the game with new skills, languages, and knowledge.

As David Weinberger’s#@! blogsticker(^) noted several years back: “Cluetrain was basically right.” id est:

>>”Corporate firewalls have kept smart employees in and smart markets out. It’s going to cause real pain to tear those walls down.”

>>THESIS 94: To traditional corporations, networked conversations may appear confused, may sound confusing. But we are organizing faster than they are. We have better tools, more new ideas, no rules to slow us down.

These are the best of times. These are the worst of times. Ain’t we lucky we got em - good times.

Disclaimers follow: *my husband, **reference to BigPR and Ketchum, ***covet it, ****member, *+*I hear you get $10 for signing up and plan to do so, *#*jeneanesessum and jeneane respectively, *^work with them some, #@!Friend, (^)blame gary turner.

as in:

If I See ONE MORE post with BIG BOLD SUBHEADS boasting cute phrases that want so desperately to be profound that I have to turn my head to spare them their own embarrassment, I WILL puke.

I’m telling you, people.

I’m not talking polite regurgitation - I mean PUKE.

Don’t pretend you have no idea what I mean.

“Think Small, Talk Deep” “Make Them Let You See Me Sweat” “If They Say Yes, You’re Doing It Wrong.” THOSE types of bullshitty neon nonsense.

You can tell these posts because the ‘faux ballsy’ subheads are most often followed by all the reasons why social media-community-internet-technology (buy my book buy my book buy my book) is the answer to every question yet to be answered under the sun, especially by business, which we all seem to forgotten, has RUN OUT OF MONEY.

That’s the kind of supluferous fluff disquised as consulting genius I’m talking about.

It’s the echo chamber, baby, say “hello” (ello ello ello ello)

So repulsed am I by what the conversation unleashed online back at the turn of the century - yes I was there - has become, I have managed to miss my own blog’s 7th birthday.

happy birthday to me and the class of 2001.

Not for nothing, but if you think you’re saying something new and interesting ABOUT the Internet with those big sweeping subheads you hope to work into a TOC for your next novella, it’s time to actually DO something new and interesting BECAUSE OF the Internet. Or create something interesting and let us at it.

Because those posts–the ones with the faux-ballsy subheads–they gotta go.

happy birthday to my ass.

(cross posted on allied)

Social Media poetry by Rahsheen Porter.

(p.s.) how do i embed seesmic vids in wp? gets all wonky when i do. kthxbye.

——————-

To my surprise, given that not a soul has commented over here in DAYS, I made a run on Daypop yesterday, and I caught the attention of Corante, Tom, Rodent Regatta, and The Happy Tutor, the latter of which always does a fine job of making my jaw drop. Thanks to the tutor, many who meet me read my open-mouthed amazement as a run-of-the-miill, stress-induced facial spasm caused by the lack of a day job. If they only knew it was his fault. All of them.

At any rate, encouraged by someone noticing what I write for a change, no offense to my 96 regular readers each day, whom I love more than buttered toast, I decided to put a positive spin on this corporate blogging thing and come up with Jeneane’s Blogging Methodology for C-Suite Executives (JBMCSE).

No, it’s not proven. No ROI to speak of.

But results are, nonetheless, guaranteed!

JBMCSE: The Only Guaranteed Approach to Corporate Weblogging

Discovery Meeting: Our weblogging consultants will meet with your management team to introduce the JBMCSE methodology and get a better understanding of your business challenges. During this phase, we will provide you with the latest information about weblogging, micromarkets, and what pundits like Jupiter predict for the future of blogging and corporations. We will then try to frighten you away by using the word “risk” frequently without putting “reduces” before it. Please don’t tell your lawyers about this meeting. Counsel is not invited to attend.

Requirements Gathering: Our work with thousands of your customers (through extensive hyperlinking) and competitors (or people on our blogrolls who work therein) means that we bring unique knowledge of your business and marketplace to the requirements gathering process. During the Requirements Gathering phase of JBMCSE, we will work with you to outline your current processes and document the specific improvements weblogging can deliver. We will also outline critical success factors which must be achieved prior to initiating your corporate weblogging program, such as: 1) You’ve used a computer at least once before. 2.) You passed eighth-grade English class. 3.) You don’t want to be on the cover of Business Week just because you blog. Remember, we promise nothing, but guarantee everything!

Current and Future State Analysis: Where is your business today? Are you effective in communicating with your customers and stakeholders? Are your employees satisfied and motivated? Do you have the ear of key influencers in the media? In this phase we will examine the current state of your sales and marketing processes to determine how effective you are in communicating your messages to your market. The JBMCSE’s exclusive technology and tool set are designed to benchmark your current state against the goals of your organization over time–say the next five minutes. Through Gap Analysis, we can identify the process improvements that will enable your organization to rapidly achieve future state success through weblogging.

Recommendations — The JBMCSE Roadmap: At the end of the JBMCSE process, the team will present you with your tailored JBMCSE Roadmap, which serves as a blueprint for putting your weblogging strategy into action. Recommendations we’ve made to current and former blue chip clients, include:

1) Rip up your org chart, or forget that you’re on the top line, for at least eight weeks.

2) Read six weblogs a day for six months before you type anything.

3) Tear up 4 (four) of your own business cards and put the pieces in your coffee mug. Every time you think about blogging, try drinking them until you gag to remind youself you’re human first.

4) Don’t touch the computer until every one of your employees has been encouraged to blog freely.

5) Tell your counsel that you won’t blog a single controversial word, and then do the opposite. Be prepared to cut them a big check.

These are just a few samples from JBMCSE Roadmaps we’ve developed for organizations just like yours. Remember, weblogging strategies are dynamic and complex. What’s “in” today may not be the savvy approach next week. With JBMCSE, we’ll keep our finger on the pulse of weblogging so you don’t have to. The benefits of our approach are rapid and far-reaching:

1) Cost savings: You can fire your PR agency if you do this right.

2) Efficiency gains: Imagine getting all of your paperwork done at the office so that you can go home and blog all night!

3) Happy Customers: No more expensive, resource-intensive CRM programs. Your weblog comment boxes will put you in direct touch with your constituents who never—not ever—mince words.

4) Improved product and service offerings: Test your products and services first via your weblog so you can roll out the right offerings faster, the first time and every time. For example, our “Stone Throwing” Program lets your weblog readers throw actual (i.e., real live) stones at your laptop when you post about planned product enhancements. (Note: It is important that your medical insurance premiums be up to date prior to launching our Stone Throwing program.)

5) Rapid time to market: Your market is “always on” with blogging. Time to market is dramatically reduced—or, well, eliminated!

These are just some of the tangible benefits you can expect from the JBMCSE approach to corporate weblogging. What’s more, ours is the most affordable blogging methdology in the marketplace.

For our Quick Start pricing information or to set up a meeting, call 678-294-0900. If that conversation doesn’t scare you away, then you’re already a blogger and you don’t really need our services at all. Congratulations!

I usually refrain from jumping into these discussions anymore because the semantics are baffling. I am glad to let those more adept have at it. I prefer to discuss stuff in FriendFeed and (GASP!) on the phone. Yes. the. Phone. Some really smart people still use it. Louis Gray I’m comin’ for ya.

You see, what frustrates me about these “PR IS DEAD OR ALIVE AND WELL” discussions is that more and more PR is fragmented. That’s why the growing pains are being felt. There is no single entity that represents the discipline of public relations today. The profession, the roles, the goals, they overlap and intersect with many other crafts and professions that affect all kinds of decisions and conversations among all kinds of people in all kinds of places, from internal employees to global users to Bob down the street, the one with the dog that barks CONSTANTLY.

So while my very good friends and colleagues hit on some Very WISE PR Tenets - like good PR is good messaging –> we help companies figure out what they really do and how to tell their story –> many others wish to discuss the profession of public relations as the single entity of their disdain, the source of their online misery, simply because it’s easy to do. After all, if you rotate in a biscuit in a circle above a dog’s head long enough while he watches, he will fall over.

Speaking of falling over, I was surprised when Brian Solis gave away all his secrets for breaking news. Startups and companies in the tech space, you have to read this post. Brian can do this because he’s not afraid. He knows his stuff and is therefore confident enough to share it.What most bloggers are complaining about in reality when they talk about the sorry state of PR is the state of MEDIA RELATIONS. Media Relations is the branch of PR that handles the client’s relationships with the media, including bloggers, and that is where those old devices like press releases and news breaking is handled. Media Relations is undergoing HUGE growing pains as the question of what the media is and what news is continues to evolve.

HOWEVER: For Immediate Release: Media Relations is NOT all there is to PUBLIC RELATIONS. It’s a specialty within the field.

Some people are very very good at it. Some people are not. It is HARD to be very good at it. It takes YEARS of relationship building in specific verticals. And in the changing landscape of social media where PR people are often bloggers and entrepreneurs themselves, it gets even more tricky.Often the same people who are good at media relations suck at messaging. Those who are super at managing crises couldn’t pull an event together if their life depended on it, and wouldn’t want to. IR people are a breed apart, but are still PR people. So when you say PR people, you’ll rarely find one PR PERSON who is the same as the next. And what works in PR for privately-held Internet companies is very different from what works for public companies with regulatory scrutiny. The barn door doesn’t open and close on social media alone, farmers. THAT’S why these discussions drive me slightly crazy. THAT and, well, I get frustrated easily when I am on steroids, which I am, and see that once again the PUBLIC is being left out of definition of public relations, just as the social is too often left out of social media.

PR practitioners, help your clients support their public - we can call them customers, we can call them users, whatever - and the rest will follow. So, on that note, I’ll wrap it up and let the links do the talking. What do I know anywhoo.

• User Generated Companies
• If I Were Writing Their Press Release
• what only Little PR can do
• etc.

Yesterday, a friend of mine asked if Going Solo was offering any individual sponsorships. I was a bit taken aback at first, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a good idea.

Going Solo is about people. It’s about individuals. Most of the time, it’s about people building a personal brand. So, it would make a lot of sense for Going Solo to allow individual people to be sponsors too.

Check out the range of sponsorship options for companies and individuals. I like the idea of micro sponsorships–a way for individuals to show support and get the benefits of sponsorship without the bells and whistles and price tag of full-blown sponsorship. If you’re an independent practitioner, indie consultant, or someone with some extra cash you’d like to turn into contacts, check out Stephanie’s conference.

I remember when BlogHer was putting the first conference together. As a board member I had a birds-eye view of what was required to pull it together, and all I had to do was to offer the occasional good idea and tiny bit of talent from afar. But what Jory, Lisa and Elisa put together took an incredible amount of work - man months or woman months of work compressed to internet speed — and they’re 3 people. I can’t imagine the hours and heart Stephanie is pouring into Going Solo.

If you’re going to the conference, consider sponsoring Going Solo as an individual–it just makes sense. If you’re not going, consider it as well–it’s an affordable way to connect with others in your industry minus the air travel.

—

–

Frank: my face is all asymetrical too
me: i think it’s endemic
Frank: one eye is on the end of my nose
me: me too
my brain is in my butt too
Frank: and my left ear is where my eye should be
me: i thought so
it’s all so complicated
Frank: very
me: let’s just start again
Frank: first we have to get people to keep blogrolling
me: right
YES
what’s WRONG with people
(they don’t take care of their pets either)
Frank: surfing is inconvenient if you have to keep hitting the back button
they dissect their pets and they trash their blogrolls
me: amen
Frank: my dog is now a counter-surfing crime dog
me: stumbleupon will sell for like 9 trillion dollars
but fucking blogrolls are free
idiots
Frank: she goes after chocolate
me: she’s smart
Frank: exactly about stumbleupon
and that’s why the monitizers are trying to influence us away
me: i think web 1.0 tools that are still around - like haloscan and YACCS (no support anymore but still works) and blogrolling.com should automatically get 10 trillion dollars
just for putting up with all the assholes coming after them
get like a pass to disney or something
Frank: I think they should bulldoze oreilly whq and re-plant the orchard there in Sebastopol
it was a nice place before they wigged out technophiles moved in
me: yeah
what you say
Frank: and silicon valley
replant the walnut trees and shit
get scoble out of there
me: blogrolling.com valley
rename it
Frank: rename it web 1.0 valley
me: call it like trees and stuff valley
Frank: Gilroy used to be the garlic capital of the world
me: garlic valley
Frank: now it’s all subdivisions and shit
zackly
me: people probably dissecting frogs
Frank: and there was artichoke valley
me: not taking care of their pets
worried about their assymmetricality
Frank: wonder how many of those they still grow?
me: frogs?
Frank: wonder if frogs have all their eyes on one side of their headds
like halibuts

“On an only slightly less naive level, software that is social could try to imagine what is involved in the development of a society. I don’t think Social Man began when a bunch of australopithecines began swapping cave art faves around a dead moose.”

not-so-interim tom matrullo.
once there, which is why I can’t send you to the original post, and now here.

Relax. The web won’t stop spinning if you take some time off. OH–and you don’t need to announce every potty break.

…while I understand the occasional self-assessment, I believe many are feeling pressure to hit a certain number of posts in a given time period, or are feeling challenged to keep pace with much more visible, prolific, people for whom this is much more aligned with their career.

See:

• SheGeeks: The Repetition of The Blogosphere
• Colin Walker: Hiatus?

The truth is that unless you’re being paid specifically to blog:

• You don’t need to blog every day.
• You don’t need to post more than once a day.
• You shouldn’t feel guilty about “gaps”.
• You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.

Unfortunately for many of us who participate in the tech blogging space, there are many examples of blogs or individuals who can crank out more than one post a day, every single day.

Louis pot-calling-kettle Gray has a point there. Most non-a-list bloggers don’t have the content management systems that some of the big blogs use to space out posts and keep the content flowing. For us, a post is a post between babies crying and bill paying, between real work and real life.
For the pros, though, frequency is frequently more important than quality. Just. Keep. It. Flowing.

How is the Always Be Posting approach different than, say, the business-as-usual broadcast model we’ve always known and abhored? Maybe it’s not.

Too many bloggers don’t know when to take a breath. As I’ve said before, the net’s biggest problem is that it can’t shut up for five minutes. Too many self-publishers are using the pixel blast approach, taking as many dumps as possible in as many social spheres as possible, so as to be — above all else — noticed and get the attention (and ad clicks) that make this little exercise worth while.

Meanwhile, the attention-getting-tricks and trollops are nothing new. They’ve been here for years, and from time to time have sent me ranting, as in this memorable “there are no headgames with hamsters” (even though that wasn’t the title) post.

People that pretend to be who they aren’t really chafe my scrote, in the words of the illustrious wonderpoultry. I am so fed up with people who pretend so often in their daily goings on that they don’t even know they’re pretending anymore. They don’t know how rediculous they sound as they tell their secret stories to you–and you already know them–and they shove pretense down the throats of the unwary. I am so overwhelmed by them. I am so sick and tired of the up and the down and the be my friend, be mine not, let me be around you so I can chafe your scrote, just so you can let me know who I can shit on today. Well no way. I say no damn way. You know what, you motherfuckers? You go iritate and subjugate your own selves and the horses you rode your selfish asses in on. You chafe your own scrote. You listen to your own self for five fucking minutes and see if you can believe yourself without vomiting forth your very heart and soul–as if you HAD any heart and soul. And if I let them, OH people make me crazy. OHH they make me crazy. And they wonder why I shut down. What do you expect us to do–every one of us worth a damn? What do you think we’re going to do–that’s right, we’re going to take your motherfucking cues and shut it down. I look at the hamsters. That’s as complex as it needs to be. She takes care of them. They learn to take care of themselves. Their is compassion, concern, correction, respect, fun, play, eat, sleep. NO FUCKING HEADGAMES WITH HAMSTERS. You see? Sure their brains are the size of what, a seed?, but that’s not the point. The point is that they are not pretending animals. They are real animals. They are instinctual not coniving. They know that survival is optional–they use their time and attention wisely. COULD YOU TAKE A CLUE? They eat their young for a reason.

Remember that, okay? They eat ther young for a damn reason.

If you don’t get it now, I can’t help you.

So essentially that’s what it’s all about.

Blog, don’t blog, take a break, don’t take a break, blast posts, post judiciously — whatever your style is, go for it.
Just don’t chafe my scrote.

What do you think of that? It made me a little ill, and confused, but then I realized that for this blogger, blogging is a pure emotional release and tagging is just one more way to express emotion.

and

While there are a few in there that make sense, what about the other ones? The one word tags related to her post content about tagging with emotions. The rest have NOTHING to do with the content. Sure, maybe the content of the overall site, but not the post itself. I believe she thinks of these as tagging easter eggs.

and

This is a very good point because it puts a human face back onto the process. Unfortunately, it also doesn’t work. Look at her tag she’s nuts. There is only one post, hers. How do you connect with others if there are no other posts in your tag category? Clearly, not a hot tag topic.

——————————

Okay. This kind of thing makes me hanker for the blog days of old where I could simply say: you’re out of your mind; who died and made you god of tags?

But civility is the new black, and bloggers are the new civil, so I’ll try to keep my thoughts on this post within the parameters of accepted online discourse.

AS IF.

Excuse me, but one person’s “reckless” use of technology is another’s innovation. To put it a different way, no one ever came up with something new by following all of the rules, honey.

Allow me take these three points one by one — I’ll try to explain what’s wrong with them:

1) Blogging is not a “pure emotional release” for me. Blogging is not pure, you see. It’s a messy, dirty, sweaty activity when done right. Slather and lather. And some funk too.

If you read me, you’ll see what you see in every good blogger: TEXTURE.

Textures are important in all human communication. The opposite of textured prose is monotone, lifeless, flat prose. So too with technology. While Web 2.0 is an unfolding of so many beautiful species of life, each blossom unique and tremendous on its own, mashups help us go beyond, become more than, create something other than, achieve texture. Mashups are proof that the world is not black and white, either or, this or that, yours or ours. It’s ours AND yours. It’s this AND that.

In fact the best thing about online publishing is that it is not either or, but both and. Same with my blog, thanks for asking.

2) “The rest have nothing to do with CONTENT”: Good! My content has to do with content, and you might know that the word itself is a bit of a sore subject around these parts. Or, you might not. As for believing that I see tags as easter eggs? I’m not even sure how to answer that. Easter eggs? Hop?

3) As for the “she’s nuts” tag, assuming that because I am the FIRST to use the tag that I will be the last is short sighted. Someone will always tag first. If I’m the first tagger for 3440 terms, all the better. Good for me. Remember me when I’m gone. Ha! It doesn’t mean that no one will ever write about someone who’s one quarter short of a gumball and be glad to find me waiting there.

The biggest misperception of this post regarding my take on tagging is that I’m advocating one way of tagging. I’m not–I want more. I WANT a way to tag contextually. And if that takes a separate search/tag tool, then shut up and build me one. Otherwise, I’ll do it with what I’ve got. Either way works for me. I’m not sorry if it doesn’t work for you.

When Technorati first launched, I blogged about wanting a way to find blogs based on their emotional context, not just topical content. I’ll look for the post to see if I can find it, but I think I made it in comments. If it was your blog, let me know. I’d like to find it.